Diabolical

There are people you meet in life that you do not like, but still respect.

When I tell someone “I don’t like you, but I respect you”, that is huge coming from me. People who don’t know me enough seem to underestimate that statement.

I don’t give respect to anyone who hasn’t earned it. An act of bravery, no matter how flawed, is still an act of bravery at the end of the day. I never expect perfection from anyone, but I d0 expect progress. People who are trying to evolve are not going to be immune to making mistakes along the way. Making a mistake does not negate the genuine efforts of someone who is trying to be the best version of themselves as they can be. That is why “cancel culture” is a load of B.S. to me. Showering someone who is trying to better their life with negativity and constantly accusing them of crying wolf is never going to help anyone’s physical and/or spiritual evolution.

I know what it is like to want to destroy someone because they destroyed you. More than some people will ever know. It’s diabolical, but it’s the truth.

Your Abuser Wants You to Fail. They Feed Off of Your Misery.

If I have to chose between Shane Dawson and Franchesca Ramsey, I am choosing Fran.

If I have to chose between Rachel Oates and her ex boyfriend, I am choosing Rachel.

If I have to chose between Megan Tonjes and her attacker, I am choosing Megan.

If I have to chose between Angelina from Jersey Shore and the people who assaulted her at her job, I am choosing Angelina.

If I have to chose between Rhianna and Chris Brown, I am choosing Rhianna.

If I have to chose between Rose McGowan and Harvey Weinstein, I am choosing Rose.

If I have to chose between Matthew Santoro and Nicole Arbour, I am choosing Matthew.

If I have to chose between my ex best friend and the monsters that were her co-workers who sexually harassed her the entire time they knew her younger sister was about to go through open heart surgery, I’m picking my ex best friend.

If I have to chose between my ex boyfriend and the women who constantly sexually harassed him during the entire time he was in the same 0utpatient therapy program up until I joined, confronted them and put a stop to it, wild guess as to whom I am choosing.

I want to make it perfectly clear that I am speaking only for myself as a survivor of sexual assault and domestic violence.

Here are some domestic violence and sexual assault sites to check out:

thehotline.org

victimconnect.org

loveislouder.org

The #Onision Documentary on Discovery +: Part 1 ***UPDATED***

***I spell schizoaffective disorder “skitzoaffective disorder” because my nickname on Myspace was Trixie McBimbo, and my friends nicknamed me Skitzie McBimbo because that’s funny. The hospital I have been to many times for audio hallucinations even lets me spell it that way because I told them the origin story of why I spell it wrong. Sorry not sorry that I dare to have a sense of humor about my mental illness instead of weaponizing it and sorry not sorry that I refuse to use it to go sadfishing.***

1/5/21 4:21pm

I signed up for the free trial of Discovery +. I don’t know if this will be shown on a daily basis or on a weekly basis. I am honestly right now watching it because I wanted to see Shiloh’s interview. I’m going to go straight to her part and then update this when I am able to. As a woman who also finally got out of an abusive relationship just like Shiloh did: bringing your abuser to some sort of justice or even just coming out with your story is scary as hell. I don’t particularly like a lot of Shiloh’s actions (I think that she doesn’t realize that sometimes she leans more on becoming the abuser having been abused herself, and she apparently scammed a few people on the fundraisers dedicated to her-I spoke to one doner directly), but I respect her. Coming out takes a lot of guts.

I know what it is like to deal with an ex who is so narcissistic that they will do anything to drag your character through the mud in order to keep up the fake upstanding reputation they have constructed for themselves in their own head. I know what it is like to deal with your abuser trying to defame you by pointing out any bad episodes you have had due to your mental illness while being so oblivious to the fact that their abuse is the reason your illness was aggravated in the first place. As survivors, we have a few things in common.

I do not condone weaponizing suicide as a means to hurt someone, I know what it’s like to be that desperate to get out of a relationship so badly that you are capable of weaponizing it in the first place. Shiloh once tried to emotionally blackmail myself and another Youtuber by the name of Edwin’s Generation (who is also in the Discovery documentary). I have faith that Shiloh will stop that behavior through the help of therapy and/or medication. I myself am on medication due to the fact that I have skitzoaffective disorder bi-polar type and I also see a therapist once a week for it. Those two things and taking breaks off of the internet has been very helpful for me, and I hope she finds a healthy routine that helps her deal with her trauma and post traumatic stress.

I am going to watch the Shiloh interview first and then I am going to make another post based off of what I saw from the interview and the whole episode.

This is not me cashing in on Onision. This is me spreading awareness. Women have to stick together in situations such as these because men will always stick together. It has been proven to me time and time again.

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