The sandman on Instagram

Dr. Pimple Popper

I am so mad that her show is going over to Discovery +. These “+” channels are getting on my nerves, and they have no reason to exist.


I love Dr. Sandra Lee, she’s always awesome with her patients and never let fame or power get to her. I know a specific doctor I used to go to who started a bigger practice than he had when he was when I knew him, and now he’s a total dick.

She also has her own skincare line. I think I’m going to get that for my sister’s birthday this year. It seems to help with acne, which is something my sis has had to deal with a lot more than I have.

Warning: The content gets graphic on this show!

Anansi Needs to Have a Seat

This opinion might get me into hot water, but I don’t really care.

I am obsessed with Neil Gaiman, so obviously I am over the moon about the fact that there is another season of the book adaptation of “American Gods”.

Neil Gaiman and everyone involved in this series make it very clear that they are not going to white-wash a single episode.

There are two important gods in this series: Anansi and Belquis, Anansi being male and Belquis female. Both are powerful characters in this day and age, where racial tensions in America and beyond are simmering like a pressure cooker. Anansi was written off of the show because some of the powers that be did not want the viewers to think he is just another stereotypical angry black man. His story is important, but now that he has made his appearance, he needs to take a seat.

This season and all seasons beyond need to be about Bilquis, because for once there needs to be an angry black woman portrayed in the entertainment industry. It has always been about the angry black man, and I cannot be alone when I say that I am sick of it. I want more women of color taking the mic so they can force mainstream media to look at the damage they are doing to the female POC population. Even if I don’t like said woman of color, I want her represented. I want her involved. I want a light to be directly shone on how men of color mistreat their fellow women of color. I want a light to be directly shone on how white men mistreat women of color. I am done with the outpouring of whitesplaining that goes on after every racially motivated incident occurs.

Women of color deserve so much better than this.

Porn Becoming Mainstream is Not the Only Problem

There is such a thing as having a sex addiction while never having seen pornography. You can have a “wet dream” without ever having seen pornography. You can start masturbating at an early age without ever having seen pornography. You can get the idea of raping someone into your head without ever having been on the internet. You can use an item as a sex toy without ever having owned a sex toy.

I have no problem with adult entertainment.  Keyword of that sentence being “adult”.  What consenting adults chose to do with other consenting adults is not my business. I will, however,  always take issue with child pornography, Bratz dolls, Monster High Halloween costumes intended for girls, sexy Halloween costumes for underage teens,  men who sign up to the US army specifically for the chance to go to brothels in other countries where children are on the menu, Youtube allowing young women to make content about how great it is to be a cam girl or have an only fans, the fact that only fans and cam model websites having affiliate links for one to become a sex worker, and the fact that Netflix still has not removed the film “Cuties” from their collection.

I am fully aware that the only actions I can control are my own.

 It doesn’t matter how many heathens you burn at the stake. You can put out as many “call to actions” as you want about the things going on in this world that you want to see gone, but you will always make an impact and change the minds of some of the people listening to you, never all of them.  Even Giliad in “The Handmaid’s Tale” has a black market.  

Even Giliad allows prostitution.  

You want to change the world for women and children so badly?

Baby steps.  That’s the only dent most of us will ever make for whatever cause we are fighting for, let alone women’s rights is baby steps.  This “all or nothing” attitude has been, is, and will get us nowhere.  The infighting that continues to go on about who is the correct leader for the cause is getting us nowhere.  The factioning off into little microcosm communities both online and offline while stubbornly refusing to, at the end of the day,  put personal bullshit aside once and for all and fight for the greater good is getting us nowhere.  Pushing aside male allies who genuinely want to fight for these causes is getting us nowhere. The “greater good” that we need to put first is children.
Swallow your pride, stop bickering.  Do work.

Yes, my thoughts are a complete cluster f*ck of word vomit when I talk about something I really care about.  I am well aware of that, thanks.  It is part of the package that is me.

#StephenBear Does Not Get to Play the Mental Health Card

As someone with an actual diagnosis, Stephen Bear does NOT get to play the mental illness card here. At no point in my life before or after my diagnosis would I ever think it would be OK to leak revenge porn. I literally have heard voices clear as day (I have not had hallucinations since 2016), at no point have I ever been racist or decided it would be a good idea to post a sex tape to only fans and make thousands of dollars off of such an intimate moment without the consent of the other person (or persons-what can I say, I was wild in my 20’s).

I am so beyond fed up with hearing “they obviously need help” when a person does something really shitty. Morals and ethics have nothing to do with one’s mental health. You are taught morals and ethics just like you can only be taught to be racist or sexist or abelist etc. You either have been taught or you taught yourself.

Having said that, I want to include some links that would be helpful to people with a mental illness or anyone who feels they’re going to lose it because of covid:

#StephanBear posted a sex tape of him and Georgia on Only Fans…wtf

Speaking of The Challenge!

What an absolute piece of shit.

If MTV does not cut ties with Stephen Bear the way they cut ties with Dee, I will just be heartbroken.

I don’t know if it was revenge porn or not, but obviously this is disgusting. Women deal with this ALL of the time.

I myself have been videotaped in compromising positions without my consent. I know what that feels like.

Georgia, my heart goes out to you.

What are your thoughts about this?

Why I Love “The Challenge”

The main reason I have grown to love this show, especially since 2008, is because it is one of the best ways I use to escape my reality, or at least take my mind off of the worries and stress that accompanies my life.

A lot of traumatic things have happened to me in my life, one of them being that while I was pregnant my daughter’s father cheated on me with five different women and showed no remorse for it. He had been pretty abusive already, but there were a few months where he was a good boyfriend to me after we had our kid. I thought he was changing. I was wrong.

I was also diagnosed with skitzoaffective disorder during the most violent and dramatic times in my life, the time when I had to put a restraining order against my daughter’s father because he kept threatening to take my daughter, attacked me to the point that I now have a fracture in my skull, and threatened violence against my own father. Cops had to be there while he picked up the rest of his stuff from my parent’s house because the restraining order was still active. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t feel a sense of smugness about the fact that he had to pick up his stuff with police supervision in front of my entire neighborhood. (Ladies, if a man puts his hands on you the way he did, he’s going to do it again. It doesn’t matter how much he kisses your ass afterwards: kick his ass to the fucking curb.)

The Challenge really helped me during that time of my life, and it continues to help me cope with my skitzoaffective disorder and my rocky relationship with my kid’s father. I think he knows better not to fuck with me ever again. Watching these people go through such trying situations on this show makes my own struggle a little easier to bare.

“The Challenge” and Pamprin Weekend

I spent all day today in Lexi’s bed watching “The Challenge” with her on my Chrome book. I feel bad for her because she’s getting mood swings and that usually means one thing. It is the same thing I am suffering from right now, as I do every month. The first two days for me I feel like I should put crime scene tape on me instead of a belt. Ever see the blood tidal wave scene in “The Shining”? That is what it feels like. I am overexaggerating: it isn’t that bad literally. It sure does feel that way though.

Another thing that sucks because of Covid: I have no idea when there will be a new season of “The Challenge”. It’s a big part of my routine and I don’t like my routine getting messed up because of my schizophrenia. My movies and my TV shows help me cope a lot. I hated having to give up Netflix because of that damn “Cuties” movie. I will however re-subscribe for every new season of “Ratched”. Sarah Poulson is so good.

I also am wishing I could have another TV series or miniseries with Natalie Dormer, but the only two she’s been in is “Picnic at Hanging Rock” and “Penny Dreadful: City of Angels”, which I have both watched.

(Tangent, there is a book called Penny Dreadful by Wil Christopher Baer that is part of a “Phineas Poe” trilogy that is really good. Read “Kiss me, Judas” first, then Penny, then “Hell’s Half Acre”. It’s a very noir trilogy if you’re into noir. Will Christopher Baer is one of my favorite writers because of those books. He was supposed to come out with a new book, “Godspeed” that he was working on but nobody knows whether or not it will see the light of day.)

I am really hoping she does another voice performance like she did in “Neverwhere”.

I also keep forgetting that she’s almost a year older than I am. I always thought she was younger.

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