Down

I have to see my Mom. She’s my best friend and she isn’t here. She has not been here for months.

It is crippling my imagination. It makes it sometimes impossible to even think of what I want to write let alone sit with my erasable pen and my notebook, pick a topic and write. I have pieces that I have not published.

What I really want to do is save up money to sign up for that Master Class app/site. I want to listen and watch Neil Gaiman and Margaret Atwood and absorb everything they have to teach me. This is honestly what I want more than anything.

I did fall off my diet, but I have been steering more into the healthy eating lane. I am trying to make it so that one day a week I get a cheat day. I am training my body to like healthy foods and more protein so that I can cleanse the sugar I eat from my cheat day. I am so used to having a treat every day. I let myself have fast food once a month.

The last fast food I had was Arby’s. I had a crispy chicken sandwich with curly fries, a cherry turnover, one of each of their cookies, and a Sprite. It was wonderful. I think the next time I get to have my fast food day (February 8th) I will get the same only both kinds of turnovers along with the cookies. I will share with my daughter some of it because I really can’t eat all of that myself. (Don’t worry, she only gets fast food the same day I get fast food.)

I have not been exercising either. I am going to change that tomorrow. I have a new machine I can use to help me work out at home.

I need to be as healthy as I can be for my sanity.

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