The first big step you have to take is to keep a journal to help you find your voice as a writer.
I’ve been blogging for 20+ years. Have I found my voice? Does any of my writing make other people think “that sounds like Katie” when they read it? I have no idea, personally.
When I was blogging on Myspace, someone took a photo of me and went around commenting blogs pretending to be me. They were pretending to be my voice. I’ve even had some of my comments on Myspace printed in an e-book somewhere on Amazon.
I don’t know if my writing has left a voice. I don’t know if I have left an imprint on the internet or on anyone.
I have been taking notes about method writing. I guess we’ll see what happens next. Maybe I’ll unlock something I didn’t know I had in me.
I have witnessed something like this. Twice, actually. Both on Myspace. When I first came on the blogging scene there, there was this “top blogger” who caught someone in a big, big lie-the person that made their main account had made around 50 sock accounts so that they could rank in the blogs. Another time there was this woman who claimed to have some sort of brain cancer I think it was. She wrote a blog about how she was in a hospital and had masturbated in her bed after having had brain surgery. Turns out it was a what is now known as a catfish. There was another catfish profile I think. Some woman who allegedly died but people said evidence proved that it was a fake profile the whole time.
It’s amazing the lies people will weave on the internet because they can’t stand their own lives.
I see people who have it better than I do but do not work a fraction of how hard I work.
My jealousy gets to me sometimes.
I internalize it because I know that although things are rough right now, a peak will soon come.
It is when I feel most jealous that I keep my words to myself.
I could bitch and moan about all of the trauma that I have been forced to deal with. There is some trauma I will be affected by for years to come, probably until I die.
So I take pleasure in the little things. I ride my own melt. Life is in the details. Life is in Hemingway’s six word story.
Small things that go unnoticed are not by default weak. It is the silence where things happen. Loud noises, loud words, loud deeds are often the most empty.
I have been working hard to find places I can get published, where I can earn some extra money from my writing.
I work because I want a nest egg for myself somewhere down the line.
Lately I mostly work to keep my mind off of my 100 year old grandmother (about to be 101 this July) who is getting more frail by the day even though her constitution is as strong as ever. I miss my grandmother and I didn’t get to see her on her 100th birthday. I might not get to see her on her 101st.
Please let me see her when she hits 101. I think that all of the time.
…to the Los Angeles Review, a publication that comes out in print once a year and posts regularly online.
I’m going to submit something to one of their contests.
I’m really nervous about that. It will take two to four months for me to get an answer. In the meantime, I am searching for places that might get me published faster.